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1rst Acting Audition

Life’s Rich Pageant was the title of an REM album way back when they were popular. That phrase always lingered in my brain because there really is no way to know what’s next. Case in point, there’s always time to become an actor. I did my first real audition -as a one man band – for a bank commercial. It was really fun. Several other guys auditioned with a bunch of instruments. The casting people seemed fascinated with the Suzuki Omnichord, pictured leaning against the wall. The audition is in the can. I want to book it!!! It’s up to the fates.

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Calling All Snowflakes

Natasha and I are going public and announcing Snowflakes, our brand new music duo which includes myself on guitar and vocals and the multi-talented Natasha Blasick on bass and vocals. The fret markers on her Daisy Rock bass, being shaped like snowflakes, inspired Natasha to come up with the name. Humans, like snowflakes, are unique creations each and every one.

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Watching the Grammy Awards earlier this year got my jones going to perform live again. I try to think win-win when it comes to our own entrepreneurial projects so there’s something in it for both of us. We’ve got several movie projects in various stages of development. But the call of jamming beats loudly in my breast.

One by one I’ve written songs that work well for our particular strengths. Natasha made her live debut on bass a couple of weeks ago with one Snowflakes song. She looked like a bass master.

A few days ago at breakfast she asked why we don’t have a song about Snowflakes. Brilliant idea!! The chorus practically wrote itself. This feels like the right time to share our work in progress as a pop group with the rough demo of the Calling All Snowflakes by Snowflakes.

Weigh In

The show wanted a home interview came the word from Mahalo’s video manager, Dallas. I walked Vivien around the block keeping an eye out for the crew for our 1:30 appointment on Wednesday. Somehow we’d crossed paths. Natasha called and said they were already inside – director Ben, shooter Samantha and writer David who did double duty on audio.

W’d cleaned up the place until the last minute, and I presented myself sweating profusely. My good shirt, spouse approved, was wet across the front. I brought my fat game. In all fairness it was hot. We had a lot of fun once we started shooting. Natasha said the reason she pinched my fat so hard was because she thought the fat parts didn’t have any feeling. She really thought that. She did it with a devious smile. The crew made it easy to relax and have fun. I wondered if they were going to edit it to make me look like an idiot. Ben told me we’d shoot a shirtless weigh in on Friday. At this point I was ready to let it all hang out.

Lights, cameras, action! Friday. Jason taught me how to make a healthy burger. It was pretty easy being talent as opposed to crew, which I had been on many projects before. No heavy things to carry. No important adjustments to make. Just don’t be dull. Not as easy as it seems as some of us are natural dullards. Jason carried the load in the dialogue department improvising off of cue cards about the nutrition of each ingredient.

A new Kate, not my fellow contestant, made sure the grams and calories were correct. This Kate was another writer and had recently lost forty pounds. I tried to look interested in the low sugar ketchup. A real makeup person prettied me up. We hadn’t started the diet part yet, so it was a happy happy joy joy moment. Easy shooting and a free lunch. Dallas had called in the morning to get my lunch order for a Tender Greens. Bar-B-Q chicken sandwich. When I weighed myself at home it was naked and before eating anything. For the official weigh in it was going to be after a full lunch! Why didn’t we eat the healthy burgers? We did. 92% fat free ground beef with low fat cheese. I was stuffed.

The Terrific Trio ; Mike, Martin and Kate before the weight in

We lined up for the weigh in and workout. Shoes on. Shirts stayed on. Two lunches in my belly. I ruined two takes not knowing when to leave the scale. Jason looked at me funny. I stood there in a food coma. Or it could have been the reading of 226lbs. Mike was 278. Kate was over 200. The excitement and ensuing routine must have shook loose a few of my smarts.

The workout wasn’t as bad as feared. I fretted a bit about my tender knees doing the lunges. And Jason needed a second to process that my lack of flexibility wasn’t a put on. We did obliques with a twenty pound exercise ball. “Grab your balls!”. Hard but fun. The exercises that is.

“Shirts off for the before pictures”. We all took our turn. I whipped of my shirt and got videotaped and photographed like a trophy fish. ‘Let it all hang out, baby’ was all I thought’. Oversized shirts never fooled anyone before. Let’s get the truth out there. Sometime there’s a good looking picture of me where I look like a guy, not a fatguy. But that hard belly fat crept all around my sides and up the middle of my back and in dense little pockets, to say nothing of my double chin. It might be tightly compacted. But all fifty pounds of it were there embedded in my body and consciousness.

We each received a bag of heathy burger and low calorie margarita ingredients, including a baby bottle of tequila. I walked out happy and called home to share.

From the first millisecond I knew Natasha was upset. An unpleasant incident with a client the night before went horribly wrong. The client drank too much. Third day in a row. Other pressures were in play. The client hit Natasha on her arm, hard. He thought, in his drunken haze, it was playful. Rightfully, Natasha was irate. She yelled at him and slammed the door on the way to the next room.

I should have yelled at him strongly and told him to get. Quietly, I wrapped the session thinking it best to keep a distance between him and Natasha. My nature is to chill things out rather than flare up. A little fire would have been better. Natasha and I talked that night and it seemed like we’d institute a no drinking rule and move forward. The next day, while I played around with dreams of being a fat-to-fit reality star Natasha went through a gamut of emotions processing what happened and how she was spending her life. This was as bad a moment as I’ve experienced in marriage.

From hope to despair in a moment. Natasha was the love of my life. I’ve dreamt of providing so much better of a life than I have. She was upset not only for feeling unprotected in her own home but for entrusting her life and existence with me.

The weekend was tough. We got back to functioning. Spending Sunday afternoon at the beach helped. Living only four blocks from the beach it’s ridiculous how rarely we’ve taken advantage of it. It shouldn’t take a crises to get there. Still, it helped.

I didn’t even look at the dietary and exercise instructions until Monday

Sunday night: no carbs, me hungry. Dinner was bok choy and three slices of low fat cheese. Natasha convinced me to skip cooking an entree. My tummy didn’t like it but it was a good call. I made us each a little cup of greek yogurt for the night time snack. In hers, granola and honey. I stuck with the plain. 7 grams of carbs per serving. That should be alright. Avoiding carbs at night is the hugest trick in this diet. It’s not meant to deprive. But eating extra light, as in making bok choy the entree was a good shock to the system to get the ball rolling.

Monday night: if I didn’t work out tonight I wouldn’t be able to get in two workouts before the regular Friday shoot/workout. It was 10:30 after a blazing hot workday. And a client brought over thick crust pizza, three pieces of which made up lunch and dinner. And the slice of cheesecake for desert. Hells bells, as my mother used to say. There was no makeup person in sight. I printed out the list of exercises and studied them, all the while gathering my forces – from the couch. If this show was going help me in way other than humiliation I had to do this myself.

The hardest part was getting out the door. I missed a few exercises because I didn’t know what they were. What on Earth are mummies? Once I made it out the door it was in the can. Twenty five lunges on each side got my heart pumping so hard I thought my ears would leak. No one really cared about the weirdo in the dark. The dog walkers, drunks, and happy couples went about their business. A pit bull smelled my ass. Kind of proud. Not about the pit bull.

This weeks’ presents were ground beef, condiments, Crystal Light powder and some veggies. Two shoots. Lots of fun. No pennies If you’re having fun sharing this journey with me please consider a donation or music purchase as part the good times.

“My Days On Being Fat Sucks: “Weigh In,” copyright © 2012 by Martin Blasick.

Meet The Fitness Guru – And Get Presents

No official ‘Congratulations, we want you to be a cast member on a year long journey to get fit’. But a short email arrived telling me to come to the first shoot on Friday, Aug 3. I’m game for it. There’s no money in this. It’s not a network show. The value is going to have to be in having a support system to get on track with fitness. What an outrageous concept, getting fit without compensation. And they mentioned small prizes and incentives along the way. I have already glorified them in my mind. The prizes that is.

The call time of 1:30pm had me scratching my head. Last time we’d had lunch, a production company treat, at about that time. The workout was at around 3. I ate half of a leftover Arby’s sandwich while driving over. I sent a couple of brief texts, too. I reminded myself ‘Don’t do that texting while driving anymore’. With that half sandwich at least I wouldn’t starve if there was no lunch. And there would be room if a meal was waiting. Solid plan. As soon as I walked in I could see a table full of food orders. Aha! My call time was after lunch, even though lunch was just arriving. I’m also thinking I might be a little too centered on the topic of food. There was a workout to deal with, though; I’d really some calories to get through it. That previous test workout kicked my glutes.

It’s such a friendly bunch of people. Good energy. It’s amazing how many names a person can forget in two weeks. My fellow castmates, Mike and Kate (I had to ask her name again) were enjoying some tasty salads. They’d been called in earlier for a how to make morning protein shakes segment . There was a bag of ingredients for each of us to take home. Protein powder, almonds and frozen berries. While waiting around around I snagged some almonds and cheese bread and some chilled green tea that’s always in the production fridge. They’ve got a nice pad there for long work hours.

It was fun chatting around the table. Ben, the Kiwi, looks a bit like a slender Russell Crowe and is the producer. Maybe? The crew changes roles from show to show so they don’t behave like their job title. They are refreshingly affable and, when it comes to doing the job at hand, are quite goal oriented. I’ve been on a great many low budget shoots in my life in one capacity or another and there was always at least one (usually more) certifiable psycho in the crew. In this case it looks like the cast is most likely contain the psycho. A good mood descended upon the lunch table.

I quizzed Chad, who I think is another producer, about the reality of this reality show. How long would it run? Won’t we get some paperwork? Is it a set time? Will we do a first weigh in? It turns out Chad is practically a neighbor of mine. In a most chilled out demeanor let me know they were still tinkering with the format. We’d all signed released so they were good to go. There would be some kind of deal memo somewhere down the line. It was all good basically. I’ve heard that lone before but in this case it was totally working. I chilled out and figured just roll with it. There wasn’t any cash at stake. And these people had a vested interest in my improved fitness.

And improved fitness would really help in a bunch of ways. My wonderful Natasha, perfect in so many ways, has had about enough of a chubby hubby. She hasn’t acquired the encouragement technique of spousal redirection. She’s sweet as sugar everywhere else. I’m certain she’s not the only person who’s toughest with the spouse. In any case it’s been a challenge to rise above the complaints to avail myself upon the solution – increased activity methinks – when I really would rather plop out two pieces of Japanese mochi green tea ice cream from Trader Joe’s.

Then there’s the not dying young part. I see celebrities in the news croaking younger than I am now. Holy smokes. I think the best is yet to come. I haven’t hit my stride yet in life. My best days and accomplishments are right around the corner. My mother died of heart disease. I’m a man in my early fifties with the hard type of belly fat. Fifty pounds of it. I want to live longer. With all my capacities intact.

It was impossible not to notice, when I lost all the weight in 2000, how people reacted differently to me. When I hit my lowest, 160 lbs. I was a bit underweight. On the way back up I discovered the sweet spot for onlookers was 172 lbs. I could feel eyes drawn to me. This is a simple fact of life. People have eyes and respond to visual stimuli. Fat people drop off the visual radar. I did. Same for skinny people. We are all groovy no matter what the size. But I want to use every tool in the tool kit to make my mark in life. As a free lancer, I need to be attractive to clients in every possible way. No, I don’t mean sexing them up. Or do I? There’s a sexual component in almost every interaction, or so say some psychologists. But I digress. Bottom line: looking better would be better for business.

So off we trundled to our little park in Culver City. Mike, myself and Kate in the back two seats of a fifteen passenger van. We circled the neighborhood getting interviewed about our upcoming fitness journey. When we’d all said clever things, my own assessment, we pulled up to our grassy workout spot to officially meet Jason, our trainer, guru and mentor.

We had a few minutes to wait in the van, just us fat people. I mean cast members. It was good to bond a little even though we didn’t have anything of great import to say. We’re all thinking the same thing. At least I am. Is this going to be a real show? Are there any opportunities to come from it? Are those wrapped presents on the grass? We see Jason walking up and speculate whether his glimmering new outfit is from production. Those green shoelaces perfectly match the accents in his workout shirt. We get the word and say our on camera hellos. Jason is a pretty cool fellow. We get straight to the workout. As noted before, this crew focuses on getting the job done while keeping a laid back attitude.

The program is more of fitness test. Ten exercises, thirty seconds each. Jason is into the heart pounders. Jump into a lunge over and over on the same leg. Then switch. It hurts. Mike is a ham. Always talking back and/or lying on the ground. Comedians. I think about clever quips. Then do the next exercise. Thankfully it wasn’t as hot as during the pilot. And we were out of the direct sunlight. I was close enough to a tree to feel roots under my soft patch of grass. Not the perfect spot but basically it was a beautiful day and I was exercising in a park with a great trainer and four cameras pointed in my general direction. It inspires way more than nagging. Kate is making it through OK. I hang in there except the ab work. My torso is long and my legs are short. My center of balance is a bit off. Jason told me my form was terrible. I was ready for some help getting it right. This was just the fitness test so I was left to flounder about.

Water. Grunting. Lying on the ground. We got our presents! One big and one small. Kate guessed the small one was a workout tape by Jason. I thought she might be right. We had a nice ceremony where Jason said inspiring word, which I can’t recall, and gave us our well wrapped boxes. Samantha, camera op, said she and Ben wrapped them by hand. Very sweet. We groped through wrapping. The little one was a Fitbit, a nifty little device that measures calories burned, steps walked, stairs climbed, distance walked and sleep amount and delivers that info via WiFi to the Fitbit website. It’s really cool. Much cooler that an exercise tape.

The other one looked like a tablet. Not an iPad. But maybe one of those other… Hey, it wasn’t a tablet at all. It’s some shiny scale. The Withings Smart Body Scale. Perfect for fatties. But holy pot bellies, it uploads weight and BMI via WiFi as well. Get on it naked in the morning and there’s no logging to do. Thanks. These are some sweet, high tech perks.

OK, time for our wrap ups. This is close-up time. We each say how we feel. I felt excited, tired, thankful, a little nervous about following through. Kate says she’s gotta go. Now. Not even a business thing. Something personal. Hmm. Doesn’t she know the close-up is our most important moment? Ben, being very nice says we have enough to work with. We can go. Maybe I’m an undercover diva. That’s the worst kind. They pretend they aren’t a diva but get all bent out of shape at inappropriate times. Natasha is the right kind of diva. She squeaks at the moment she feels it. Another digression. I wanted my close-up. I said it was important, our time to share who we are. Ben called it a wrap for the location. We did shoot some reactions on the van ride back. Surely a model must know this was important to allow viewers to really know our personalities Now I wondered if I should say something to Kate in the time before our next workout.

The cast of Being Fat Sucks are being paid in training, motivation an in occasional presents like the FitBit, but not in money. The writing of this blog is to share my journey and my own edification. If you have received anything of value from this post please consider donating or purchasing some of my music on your way out.

“My Days On Being Fat Sucks: “Meet The Fitness Guru – And Get Presents,” copyright © 2012 by Martin Blasick.

The Mind Is Right And The Body Is Tight

Being fat sucks. Not only is it the truth for many people, myself included, it’s the name of an online weight loss show. And I hope to a cast member. I’ve been meaning to lose weight all my life. That is except for the couple of times I did lose it. But it didn’t last for long either time. I crept right back up to chubbiness. It was always a rambling list of excuses of why I carried extra weight. But let’s start out with the up to date facts. At 5′ 10″ I’ve been starting the day at around 220 pounds. Lately. It goes up and down here and there. Current age, 51.

I’m a freelance songwriter and music producer. Some of my successes include writing Lindsey Lohan’s “Don’t Move On” which she performed onscreen in Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen. On the soundtrack album it was edited into a medley along with David Bowie’s “Changes” and Stevie Wonder’s “Living For The City”. The writing credit reads Blasick/Bowie/Wonder. That’s pretty cool in my book. I produced a version of “Miracles Happen” on the gold certified Princess Diaries 2 soundtrack. As of this writing, I’m celebrating my highest profile movie song to date, “Ladies Of Tampa” from Magic Mike. Produced by yours truly and co-written with myself, star Matthew McConoughey and Frankie Pine, I was thrilled to be a part of a hit movie. Felt great. I’m still fat.

Home life is sharing my life with my beautiful and talented wife, Natasha, and Vivien, our Yorkshire Terrier, in a condo that’s walking distance from the Pacific. Sounds pretty good even as I type it. Natasha is smart. She’s funny. She’s s an actress. We are both freelancers. We have lots of time together between jobs. Sounds good? Freelancing means not having regular work or a regular schedule. It’s super awesome. Right? No set routine also means that well intentioned plans, like going to the gym, can get overturned on a moment’s notice. I love my wife and doggie. I love what I do. It’s a great adventure. It includes uncertainty. About finances. Many a freelancer out there can relate to the hills and valleys of the self employed life. Certainly that must be true. I’m still fat. Still there’s a lot to be thankful for.

Between high flying movie jobs for me and starring roles for Natasha I’ve been known to troll through Craiglist for opportunities. Tons of useless ads. Once in a blue moon something good comes from it. It’s like the needle in the haystack. One of Natasha’s starring roles is the result of a CL ad. And then I saw an ad looking for people wanting to lose weight. It’s a pretty short story. The hardest part was finding a good chubby picture of myself. Posing to look big doesn’t happen very often. I selected one though and sent in a response. A very nice man, Jeremy, invited me in to a company called Mahalo for a brief screen test that consisted of doing five pushups and describing myself for two or three minutes. I figured that was that. Still fat. At least I did five pushups. Usually there’s no time for any.

An email arrived inviting me to do a shoot. Sounded pretty awesomely cool. Another screen test? Sort of. It was to be a non-airing test pilot. They were clear in saying the only pay was in training and some possible incentive gifts. Not money. Well, Hell. It’s for the web. Not a major TV network. Deep breath. That’ll be OK. I put my suggested outfits together and trundled over to the Mahalo offices.

I couldn’t wait to see the other fatty fats. How many of us would there be? I thought twenty or so. The talent consisted of just two other people, Michael, a comdian/actor and Kate, a former model who had put on some pounds in the past few years. I wasn’t sure if Michael was recently tubby or was always like that. We chatted amongst ourselves and with the very nice staff and crew. At 5’11” Kate certainly had the height to have modeled. And a very pretty face. I pegged Michael as a future Rodney Dangerfield. He’s that type. And quick to tell a joke. I had the pleasure of working with the real Rodney on one of his last movies, The Fourth Tenor. I learned a lot about comedians. Quick wits mixed with serious moods. Interesting choices for our show to be sure.

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Jason “Heat” Rosell and Martin Blasick, red faced after the test workout

I’m the song guy. Not too wild. At all. The wildness lives inside. It could be a big part of why the outsides didn’t get taken care of. Internally there’s always a lyric or groove spinning round.

In walked Jason Rosell. Heat from the reality show I Love New York. Not tall. Seriously buffed. I immediately took him to be a loudmouth jerk. After all, no one had told us what the tone of the show would be. Big mistake on my part. Jason put us at ease right away. Turns out he was a fatty fat when he was younger. Very cool supportive, encouraging attitude.

We moved our troops to a park in Culver City. No permit, so the word was to walk away if anyone questioned what we were up to. Three camera persons. Two on sound. Couple of producers. Jason kicked our glutes. Hard. Deep lunges. Lots of reps on the pretty grass in the hot sun. Us fatties ran to our water bottles between every exercise, so having services from sites as https://www.lebleuforyou.com/ that deliver water to our home is perfect for us. I thought ‘don’t have a heart attack’. Mike rolled around on the ground and made a show. He will get some extra camera time.

It’s not clear if we’re really making a show. We’ll hear something in a couple of weeks. And don’t really try to lose any weight yet as it’s not for airing and there would be, presumably, a weigh in for an official start. Maybe? I felt a tad dizzy and lightheaded on the drive home. I pulled over and did some deep breathing. Still fat. But hopeful.

This journey is going to see me giving my all. It isn’t a paying job per se. It pays in personal training and experience. It does take more time to do the shooting than it might look like. If you enjoyed this blog post please consider leaving a tip or making a purchase.

“My Days On Being Fat Sucks: “The Mind Is Right And The Body Is Tight,” copyright © 2012 by Martin Blasick.

 

Magic Mike – Ladies Of Tampa

I had the great pleasure of co-writing a song, “Ladies Of Tampa”, with actor Matthew McConaughey. Matthew performs the song on camera in the movie. It also appear in the end title credits and on the soundtrack album. It was a lot of fun and a big thrill to be part of this movie.

Magic Mike opens in theaters on June 29, 2012.

The Mayan calender predicts a big disturbance in the year 2012. This might be it!

Billboard reveals track list for the soundtrack album:

http://www.billboard.com/news/magic-mike-soundtrack-track-list-revealed-1007117352.story#/news/magic-mike-soundtrack-track-list-revealed-1007117352.story

Body Of Proof song – Shine

Actor Cameron Boyer is the singer of my song Shine from this week’s episode of ABC’s Body Of Proof

Body Of Proof ep 212  – “Shine”
Songwriter/Producer
Performed by Cameron Boyer.

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